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Friday, October 16th, 2009
1:01 pm - one last thing
Happy Deepavali! I hope you have a great celebration, wherever and however you are celebrating. And lots of vicarious joy and murukku to those of you who don't!

No time to nominate Yuletide fandoms liao. I'd do it now but I don't know whether to put down Mythology - Malaysian or Mythology - Malay. (The old Bahasa Melayu/Bahasa Malaysia debate!) And then I thought, "Wait, should it be Mythology - Malay and Indonesian?" and haiyah! It is all a bit too much for me to figure out. If anybody does figure it out and wants to nominate it under my name I would be much obliged, but otherwise I guess I'll offer to write lots of Enid Blyton fic when the time comes.

BRB, off to China!

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Saturday, October 3rd, 2009
3:47 pm - Reminded by the neighbours setting off probably-illegal fireworks

Zhu Yi Yong, Summer Night. Image via [info - personal] skywardprodigal.

larger version under the cut )

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!

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Saturday, September 19th, 2009
11:39 am - yessss holiday
Selamat Hari Raya!

I am taking this comment, seen on Facebook, to heart: Happy Raya to those who are celebrating and to those who aren't, tumpang holiday only la! :) so I'm going to Penang for a week. \o/

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Saturday, July 25th, 2009
10:52 pm - A sad end to a happy day
RIP, Yasmin Ahmad.





ETA:

omg ♥



Interviewer: Who's your best friend?
Tiny child: My best friend is Marion.
Interviewer: OK, if a boy bullied Marion, what would you do?
Tiny child: I would do this. *demonstrates* That's the way.

current mood: sad

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Friday, July 3rd, 2009
11:36 am - Handful of links
I like The Nut Graph's Found in Malaysia series. I found the interview with Kathy Rowland interesting for what she says about identity: The continuing migrant story.

Kathy Rowland gets asked a lot about where she's from. It wouldn't be an issue but for the fact that she is Malaysian, has a Caucasian surname and doesn't look white. And so in racially-defined Malaysia, with its obsession for categories, Rowland is the odd "dan lain-lain".


One wonders. Shouldn't it still be an issue even if she did look white?

NorthEast Two-Spirit Society and Audre Lorde Project’s Executive Director Forced from Manhattan Pride March

wtf, this sucks >:(

Nostalgia: a Sport for the Privileged (via [info - personal]unusualmusic)

I would sit there with my classmates penning my “If I were to travel in time…” essays for English class or fantasizing about the Baroque period in Humanities class. I would travel to the deepest, darkest Africa with Cecil Rhodes in my History class. Yet as I got older and became more seasoned in the realities of global race relations, the beauty of the past faded. I knew for sure that no matter how beautiful an outfit, hairdo, or even lifestyle may have seemed, my participating in the nostalgic longing to return to the past was, in fact, an art I had picked up from the privileged.

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Monday, June 22nd, 2009
12:56 am - Food party
Oh look it is the



[info - personal]horusporus introduced me to Zee Avi, who sings a song of my people. (I mainly say this because she mentions Damansara. I am of the people of Damansara. I guess I'm not really of the people of cheatin' drama.) And [info - personal]frangipani posted a delicious-sounding Riotous Chicken Rice recipe.

I'm not gonna post any recipes because I'm not really at the point where I make things up and they turn out good. But taking pictures of food, that is a thing I can do!

cut for an epic number of happy food photos )

That is my food party! It is a party that goes on all year round. \o/ You can contribute pictures of food too if you like. That would be pretty cool.

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Saturday, June 13th, 2009
8:55 pm - Speaking of cooking
You know how they say baking is a science but cooking is an art? And good cooks all get very vague when you ask them for recipes: "How much black sauce should you put in?" "Till it looks about right, I guess."

I just made something like this garlic and chilli pasta, only replacing the anchovies with smoked salmon, putting in two bulbs of garlic instead of one clove (I have a lot of garlic to finish!), leaving out the lemon and cheese, and replacing the two deseeded chillies with five bird's eye chillies. Seeded.

As you can tell, as cooking artists go, I am the kind that operates not so much on intuition as on recklessness.

It burns. ;_;

***

Post-dinner report: the astounding pain has gone, but I am uncomfortably full of gas now. The Internet suggests that the two bulbs of garlic might be the perpetrators. Oh dear!

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current mood: insufficiently burpy
2:34 am - Cake or death
Gir and I made a cake.

cut for pictures )

This entry was originally posted at http://bravecows.dreamwidth.org/10679.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Thursday, June 11th, 2009
12:06 pm - Link of the day
The hybrid-Malay Malaysian dilemma. Interview with Farish Noor.

Thinky stuff about being mixed-race in Malaysia. This in particular stood out for me.

And I think this raises the question of how do we deal with racism? Because if there's one thing that irritates me about the discussion of racism in Malaysia it's that one side is always seen as the aggressor, and one side is always cast as the victim. And if you are a hybrid like me, then you realise that all sides can be aggressors and all sides can be victims. So I was victimised by Malay [Malaysians] and I was victimised by Chinese [Malaysians]. But I had Malay [Malaysian] friends and Chinese [Malaysian] friends.


Emphasis mine.

Also haha, he is a knitter!

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Monday, June 8th, 2009
12:54 pm - Living in revisionland
This trailer for the Sell Out musical is so cute lah. (Link via [info] - personalhorusporus.)

I don't know if I'll actually do this, because I am already so awkward on the phone, can you imagine how much worse I would be on a voicepost, but maybe you all could ask me a question and I will answer it via a voicepost. Maybe!

Here is a meme from [info] - livejournal.comtariq_kamal.

1. Anyone who looks at this entry has to post this meme and their current wallpaper at their Livejournal. You only have to post it if you want to!
2. Explain in five sentences why you’re using that wallpaper!
3. Don’t change your wallpaper before doing this! The point is to see what you had at the moment, not what you want to show people.

cut for picture )

And I've definitely gone over my procrastination quota for today. Back to the grindstone!

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Monday, June 1st, 2009
7:29 pm - Warm weather means haircut time
I can't abide long hair when it's hot outside, so I am going to get a haircut. I'm thinking short -- as in, an inch or two below my chin, not properly short, 'cos I haven't yet had a short-short haircut that has convinced me. Maybe a layered bob? I have very fine, thin hair, so it has to be layered if it is short -- otherwise it is depressingly flat.

But I am wondering whether I should get a fringe! So here is a poll.



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Sunday, May 31st, 2009
8:06 pm - What I ask myself
OK, so I want to write a post for the 2nd Asian Women Blog Carnival because the theme this time around is Inter/intra/transnationality (i.e. "sourcelanders and hyphenates and diasporas, oh my!", to quote [info] - personalphi in the comments). But I also got some financial services legislation to grapple with, and the deadline is on Monday, and argh my terrible time management skills!

So this isn't going to be poetic, but let's do this. I was thinking about what I wanted to write for this carnival because it is kind of the topic of my heart. I mean, I don't know what I would be if I wasn't a filthy immigrant. But I didn't know what to say; it was like asking a fish to write a dissertation about water -- where do you start? I also didn't want to write a personal history: as deeply interesting as I find these to read, I didn't feel like cutting myself open in that way.

But here's a question that keeps coming up, again and again, and it's an interesting question because it's often so painful to think about, and because it's never the same answer. I'm not sure if there is an answer. The question is this: do we lose something? What do we lose?

Read more... )

This entry was originally posted at http://bravecows.dreamwidth.org/8720.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Friday, May 22nd, 2009
12:33 pm - Fic: The First Time (Star Trek XI ... ish, OFCs)
This isn't really fic, it's stupid meta speculation disguised as fic so I can fulfill my [info] - communitypage_a_day requirements.

Let me know if you want me to explain any words.

The First Time )

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Monday, May 18th, 2009
11:32 pm - I think
I am shipping Spock/Uhura.

basically there are two fanfic stories I want for Star Trek XI )

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Sunday, May 17th, 2009
11:34 pm - At lunch with friends
Me: My mom's grandfather was rich! He owned plantations and stuff, you know lah. But he lost the money because he ...
The Penangite: Gambled it away.
Gir: It's always gambling. My grandfather gambled, my grandmother gambled, everybody gambled. My uncle gambled so much he and his family had to leave Hong Kong because the loan sharks were after him.
The Penangite: I know! You know A [the Penangite's boyfriend] is not a Tan? He's an Ng! His great-great-grandfather had to change their name to escape the loan sharks! They were really rich!
Me: I thought A's dad had nine brothers and sisters and he had to get up really early in the morning to tap rubber before school because they were so poor.
The Penangite: Yalah, that's because the previous generation gambled it all away mah.
Me: Actually I was hesitating 'cos I'm not sure if it's gambling. My great-granddad had two families, you know lah.
Gir: It's always gambling and the second wives!

The thing is, you don't really hear of people gambling away the family fortune anymore, at least not in the West. This happens in Regency romances but not in these modern times. The hypothesis I offered at lunch was that Westerners tend not to live as if their money is all in one family pot anymore -- the distinction between your parents' money and your money is less fluid than it used to be in Olden Times, and less fluid than it is back home -- so you can't gamble the family fortune away because all the fortune you have is your own. But then it occurred to me later that you can't really say people back home gamble away their fortunes nowadays (do they?), so it's probably just as much to do with the fact that you need to build up a fortune to do that sort of thing.

The excesses of my forebears led to the relative poverty of my grandparents' generation, which in turn gave rise to the thrifty, serious-minded middle class to whom my parents belong. I think my generation has absorbed quite a lot of our parents' careful approach to life, but I would be quite interested to see how many more generations it will take until the gambling philanderers come around again.

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current mood: amused
Friday, May 15th, 2009
7:36 pm - This post should have an overriding theme
1) Cephas's BFF asks:

This has been driving me crazy...i can't remember which book or author it was...but years ago i read a story about a girl who lived in the same house in the countryside all her life with her father, and he did an education experiment by teaching her the WRONG words for things. so she thought that 'yes' means 'no' and vice-versa. then maybe the hero of the story, some guy, falls in love with her and tries to help her escape.'


Cephas does not know and I do not know, but do you know, Internet?

ETA: So far we have Paul Jennings' Quirky Tales!: More Oddball Stories, which seems an odd source, but why not. I think this is prolly it, but let me know if you have any alternatives!

2) So apparently someone thought an appropriate response to 25 pages of people testifying to their existence was:

"All those people in the rollcall are just sockpuppets of white academia trying to make some point."

Wow. Anyway, I did say that I don't want to linger on the unpleasantnesses of racists; I only mention it because I loved [info] - personalhorusporus's response:

penatlah [tired]
mula2 [firstly] must testify am a person
then not a sock puppet
haiz if there's someone fisting me i'd know la


Ezackly!

3) [info] - personaldeepad stakes out her stamping ground. It is a post that made me ring like a bell. Currently the most important part of it to me is:

We need our words, and not only to have someone say them for us, but to say them again and again, over and over, until we own them, and the meaning they carry.

That’s why these discussions are important. Not for what some white person may or may not take away from it, but for us, to rephrase the argument we heard someone else make, so that we can throw it out with our own tongue, and know what its tartness tasted like. For us to say, "Don’t silence her, don’t insult her, you are erasing her, they are negating her", until 'her' becomes 'me'.


4) Which is why you should join [info] - communityfen_at_sea if you are a fan from Southeast Asia on DW! [info] - livejournal.comsea_sff is the LJ sister comm.

5) I've been contemplating a post on Writing The (White American/British) Other. I am hesitating because I do not know whether it would be satire, or an honest recounting of how I went about it, or both.

6) I've also been contemplating doing a voice post about my real accent and my not-so-real accent. I am hesitating because I doubt whether this is a good idea. Dunno lah, what do you think? If I did do it I think I'd get people to ask me questions -- any sort of question, about fandom or life or whatever -- and then I'd do a voice post to answer them.

7) Ugh, unsurprising but uncontemplated side-effect of reading up on Malaysian things is that it is making me so homesick. ;_;

(Having said that, I have spent about 10 hours over the past three days just talking to M'sians, so it's not like I'm horribly deprived of M'sianness.* I just, you know! You know? Haiz.)

*I don't know whether hanging around in coffeehouses talking about nothing/everything for hours is an exclusively M'sian past-time, but it is certainly characteristic.

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Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
5:13 pm - Swim through your veins like a fish in the SEA ... sia
Java Malay Girl

This photo is cool, man. It's konon from The Other Malaysia, but I got it off the top of this article by Farish Noor: The Lost Tribes of Malaysia: The Construction of Race Politics from the Colonial Era to the Present. (Good article, though I was a bit disappointed because he was like as we shall see below, it took quite a lot of work to persuade the natives of Southeast Asia that there was such a thing as racial difference and that they were racially different from each other, but I felt that was a promise he didn't fulfill. He talked about how things were different after the British brought their ticky-boxes, but there wasn't so much on what things were like before.)

A cursory examination of relevant websites leads to the conviction that Farish Noor is like many of us -- he has too many blogs.

I was gonna post the cool picture anyway, but with her usual impeccable timing, [info]horusporus has posted asking for names for a Southeast Asian DW comm. truly_asean is actually not very good because it's a bit Malaysia-centric (you better be grateful for that link, I'm listening to it to make sure it's the right one and I'm already shuddering in pre-emptive embarrassment squick

uh oh here comes the chorus

AAA AAA I'M SO EMBARRASSED

okay er anyway)

so you should go over there and suggest names and join it, if you are SEAsian. I dunno what we'd be doing in such a comm, but I guess if we do nothing it'll be quite true to life. So that's OK!

Also I am very behind the times, but I just found this interview with George Takei via [info]cesperanza's DW, and omg:

So he was looking for an Asian name for what would be my character. Now Asian names are very nationality specific; Tanaka is Japanese, Wong is Chinese, Kim is Korean. Now Asia also has a reputation for warfare and colonization. Roddenberry didn’t want to bring that into that character. So he was looking at a map of Asia and trying to solve that dilemma. He saw there was a sea called the Sulu. It’s in the South China Sea area. He thought, 'The waters of the sea touch all shores.' So that’s how he came up with the name Sulu.


Sulu is named after Laut Sulu. What on earth!

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current mood: amused
current music: Uncle Kracker - Follow Me
Monday, May 11th, 2009
3:36 pm - Thirteenth Child et seq
I'm tired of all this, to be honest; I haven't been directly involved apart from one comment I left in the original Tor thread, but it's triggered a lot of introspection. There's so much we miss. There's so much we don't know. There must be something seriously wrong with a world where this is a new story to me:

Little Laura Ingalls, her sisters and their beloved Ma and Pa were illegal squatters on Osage land. She left that detail out of her 1935 children's book, Little House on the Prairie, as well as any mention of ongoing outrages—including killings, burnings, beatings, horse thefts and grave robberies—committed by white settlers, such as Charles Ingalls, against Osages living in villages not more than a mile or two away from the Ingalls' little house.

- Little House on the Osage Prairie, Dennis McAuliffe, Jr.


This is stuff we should know. I don't think it's an excuse that I grew up in Southeast Asia, because that didn't stop me from reading several of the Little House books and liking them. It's not just ignorance, which can always be remedied provided there is sufficient interest and willingness. The problem is ignorance that does not know it is ignorance, that will tell all manner of lies and make any kind of excuse in order to maintain itself.

That is where Lois McMaster Bujold's comment on [info]fiction_theory's post comes from.

The other and more hopeful point is that never before have so many Readers of Color existed to *have* the conversation, or been able to communicate with each other to do so. ... As far as I can tell, the biggest single factor driving the current shift and growth in diversity in genre readers has been the invention of the Internet.


What is this? It's ignorance so deep and so unaware of itself that it would be laughable, if it weren't so common. Did you know non-white SF fans didn't exist before the Internet? Yeah, nobody told me either when I fell in love with Star Trek: Voyager at age nine, or when I picked up Asimov novels in the school library as a teenager. I'm pretty young and I got into online fandom very young, and even my SF fannishness predated my use of the Internet.

It's not surprising or perplexing that rather than grieving for her own ignorance, for the things she did not know, for the histories that are suppressed and ignored and kept from us -- rather than grieving for her own small part in that work of suppression -- Bujold would rather offer up excuses for her ignorance. It's her age. It's that there weren't any non-white SF fans until the Internet. It's that SF novels play with the idea of the empty world, and that's fine because she doesn't take it personally. (Astounding that she doesn't take it personally, when her people have such a long history of being colonised and erase -- oh, wait. I guess it makes sense that she doesn't take it personally!)

It's easier to make excuses than to think, "Oh my god, I have been surrounded by lies my entire life." It's easier to relax into your old habits of thought than to have to realise that you have to learn to treat all human beings with respect, that to do this requires a whole lifetime of effort, of struggling against your preconceptions, of rethinking your first instinct.

I don't really believe in guilt; I don't think it's especially helpful to wallow in it. But you do have to realise when you are wrong in order to start correcting yourself. I have decided that I am no longer interested in people who would rather not think about it, because I am not interested in being the kind of person who would rather go "la la la! don't want to think about it!" just because I can.

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Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
6:22 pm - Perhaps this will become a meme
I was reading G2 today and they had a feature where people wrote letters to themselves at 16. And then I came home and [info]thefourthvine's made a recs post on reset/retcon stories, and I have been talking to two people I haven't talked to in years, so clearly this is the theme for today.

My letter to myself )

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Friday, May 1st, 2009
11:56 pm - Which is mostly questions
Wow, it is super close to open beta! I must remember to pay for my account. Also, let me know if you want an invite code.

1) D'you read any interesting blogs on refugee and/or immigration issues? I've never looked for blogs on immigration especially, because it cuts a bit too close to the bone, but I'd appreciate links to non-crazy-making sites if you guys follow any.

2) Cephas cut his hair a few days ago and upon seeing the result I exclaimed, "Oh, so cute! You look so butch!" And he was mildly disconcerted. (I was writing this entry in my head earlier today and was trying to find the right word to describe Cephas's reaction to being described as butch, and I laughed when I hit on disconcerted because it was so perfect. If you knew Cephas, you'd know that disconcerted is a very Cephas thing to be.)

But I was thinking about it later and I don't know if using 'butch' to describe a heterosexual cisgendered man is homophobic or sexist or what. Is it funny because it feminises Cephas to describe him as butch? That would be bad .... Thinking about it, I don't know if it is homophobic, but at the very least I think it may be co-opting -- the equivalent of cultural appropriation, you know? Because I'm not a lesbian and I know very little about the history of the word and the weight of it and stuff. (I'm probably bisexual, but I've never lived that openly, and anyway it is besides the point.)

Sorry if this is very clueless! But that is one thing I have been thinking about, anyway.

3) I am reading Preeta Samarasan's Evening Is The Whole Day! I am only on page 34, but so far am quite pleased. Now that is how you do Malaysian dialogue, Tash Aw. I hope you are taking notes.

4) What is a good picnic food?

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